Fun’s Over

So during the No WiFi crisis, I wanted to get this tweed jacket at H&M. Had I got WiFi, I could probably still hold myself back. Distract myself with cat videos and whatnot.

Trust me. When you have no Wifi, you try to compensate your misery in thousand other ways.

You know how much I LOVEEEEE jackets right?

With 20% student discount, I was so ready to head to the mall or get it online only to realise I didn’t have my wallet with me.

Spring cleaned my entire house in search for that small purse and yep. No whiff of it. Not even a glimpse of the shadow of the wallet.

Naturally, I started panicking.

Aside from having cash that could last me a month, debit and credit cards, membership cards and whatnot, it had my Singapore IC (Identification Card).

After calling the last store I was at and confirming that they didn’t receive any wallet, I called the banks to cut all my cards.

I called so many people, okay, fine. About 5 calls. For someone who doesn’t like calling people, unless ordering food, that is a lot of people! This is exclusive my dad.

Note: Hey Pops! If by any chance you happen to stumble upon this blog and this post, I just wanna let you know that I didn’t mean to put you last. I just wanted to make sure that I’ve been thorough and do the necessary so I can minimise the things you need to do.

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Trust me. I understand whoever found my wallet and not returning it. It was so pretty. *flipsshawl*

The days leading to this loss, I’ve been reading ‘Reclaim your Heart’ book by Yasmin Mogahed.

One of the chapter was about loss and dealing with it and more.

Dealing with inner peace time after time made me realise that God tests us for two reason.

  • He loves us.
  • He wants to see how we react to the calamity that He puts in our way (with or without warning).

Funny how I thought that ‘one day, I’ll lose my wallet and I’ll have to go through all sorts of trouble to get certain things replace and restart with a new wallet,’ scene will happen when I’m back in Singapore. Being a career girl and all.

Then BAM! It happened right now. On an unfamiliar ground. As a student. Away from home. Away from family. Away from local banks. Most importantly, depending financially on my dad.

I imagined the situation with being working and all because then, no one will be afflicted or bothered at all. It’s my loss and my trouble alone.

But who am I to predict and avoid this situation?

Before you think I’m clumsy, I usually am when it comes to maths and academic matters but not when it comes to money.

The wallet was secured in a backpack.

Qadr’Allah.

It is also funny how I wasn’t as sad as I would have imagined I’d be.

Realised I lost my wallet in the morning.

By afternoon, I was eating

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this and laughing my belly off watching whatever I had on my hard disk.

There was hardly any frustration or anger or regrets that younger me would have.

It was a designer wallet. It had loads of cash. Double happiness for the one who found it. Literally.

But really, it was not about the “designer” wallet or the “lost cash” that I was most upset about.

The wallet has a sentimental value. For someone special. For that special someone whose no longer around.

But hey! I always believe that when ‘He puts you to it, He will put you through it’.

No way. No way will He leave you alone.

Afterall, it was an attachment that He probably wanted me to get rid off.

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I’d like to share this excerpt from the book ‘Reclaim your heart’ by Yasmin Mogahed:

And when such people feel trapped by life, by financial hardship, by pain, by loneliness, by fear, by heartbreak, or sadness, all they have to do is turn to Allah, and He always makes a way out for them. Know that this is not feel-good theory. It is a promise. A promise made by Allah Himself, who says in the Qur’an”

“…And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out, and He provides for Him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him…” (Qur’an, 65:2-3)

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That’s the amazing thing about the the floor of the ocean. No light reaches it.

However this dark place is not the end. Remember that the darkness of night precedes the dawn…. You can stay at the bottom, until you drown. Or you can gather pearls and rise back up – stronger from the swim and richer from the jewels.

If you seek Him, God can raise you up, and replace the darkness of the darkness of the ocean, with the light of His sun…. Know that transformation sometimes begin with a fall. So never curse the fall. The ground is where humility lives. Take it. Learn it. Live it. Breathe it in.

As Ibn ul Qayyim (ra) has said: “Satan rejoiced when Adam (peace be upon him) came out of Paradise, but he did not know that when a diver sinks into the sea, he collects pearls and then rises again.”

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You can find the second edition (latest hitherto) here.

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As I told my dad, (coming from a foodie family background, can you tell where this sentence is going? Hehe.) he panicked for my wellbeing going, “What about food? Do you have enough?”

Good thing is my fridge and dry pantry is stocked. To the brim.

MasyaaAllah, He even prepares me prior to losing monies and access to it.

All these reminders, boy am I glad to go through this.

Any hardship that you’re going through, may your affairs be eased.

Remember that when He puts you to it, He’ll put you through it.

☺️

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RIP wallet.

Monday

Monday.

All Monday’s are crappy. Today just took it to a whole new level.

I needed someone to talk to. I was scared to tell anyone anything cause I was afraid it’s backbiting. I mean, the first thing we have to do is always, always, turn to Him. But we’re human for a reason. We’re human because we understand each other, we can relate to one another.

Don’t tell me you’ve never heard a song and went, Gaaaawwwdddd…. How can another person you don’t know, knows exactly, how you feel. That lyrics ain’t tellin’ no lie.

And humans need someone to talk to.

I needed someone who is not biased. Someone who’ll tell me it’s not okay when it’s not and don’t sugarcoat their word and definitely someone in approximate same timezone as me.

1:13:44 later with Shafa, life’s good again.

It’s amazing how talking to someone does wonder.

Now, I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m not the most wonderful, nice, pious (and etc) person in the world. I can see that myself.

Know the ugly side of you so people won’t use it against you. When you’re biased to yourself, get a good/honest friend.

Life’s not kind, people mistreat others. Based on this, I try my very best to make sure I’m not a problem in a person’s life. If I took your lollipop, drop me an email, I’ll gladly replace you a dozen. If I hurt your feelings and you can’t wait for Eid for me to ask for apology, whatsapp me and tell me what your deal is and I’ll gladly apologise if I made a mistake. If I believe that I didn’t do any wrong, I’ll give my precious time to you and explain myself. If you can’t take my explanation then we can go along the line of lakum deenukum wa liyadin (for you is your religion and for me is my religion) – read: we’ll go our own way, respecting each other still.

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Private conversation is private but one thing I always, always, love talking with Shafa is, she always shares with me something she’s learned or remind me of the goodness in being good.

Today, she shared/reminded me that everyone is equal despite being different.

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(My Photoshop’s not working. Excuse the quality).

Since I’m not exactly a good example, I’ll volunteer  to be the bad example. 😈

Everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason why my intelligence is where it is, not any higher or lower. Should it be higher, I might boast it and forget to acknowledge the fact that everything I know is what He allows me to know. I might believe that I’m superior due to my knowledge. There is a reason why my leg is shaped the way it’s shaped (Based on a true story. Why do you think I stick to my black pants?!). Should it be shaped the way I like to be, I would be wearing that nice ripped jeans, something that doesn’t pleases Him. Heck, I might not even don the hijab. Too busy dressing up pleasing the world and moulding myself to be part of the society. I’m past that now. (I’ll be whoever I wanna be = I’ll be me.) There’s a reason why my skin had a bad breakout after having flawless skin all my life. After much reflection, I believe that I started to be proud (riya’) of it and He decided to take that blessing away. Remind me that all goodness comes from Him and if I can’t be grateful for that, I deserve having it taken away from me. *No complaints*.

Despite all my bad self, there has to be at least two (if not one) good qualities in me. Whatever they may be.

Me:

70% : 30% = 100%

😈 + 👼 = 100%

You:

30% : 70% = 100%

😈 + 👼 = 100%

The lesson is, despite the difference in our goodness/evilness, we are still a whole, an equal. Which means, we are never superior than others. No matter how much better you (think you) are.

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From friends to arch enemy (no kidding. We were pretty messed up 😝) back to friends, this time Lillahi Ta’ala, I lubb chu.

Thank you for sparing me your chill-on-bed time, waiting for me to finish my dessert despite me needing your help and sleeping past your bedtime for me.

Never felt better talking to you. Gawd I’m so mushy.

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Ramadhan Kareem

Anyone else having their first ever ramadhan away from home?

*hands up!*

Every year, as ramadhan approaches, I’d get all giddy excited for this blessed month and by the second week, I’d be all worn off.

But this year I’m tweaking things up to spice it a little!

Insyaa Allah, I’ll be spending this ramadhan in few countries and I’m looking forward to each location to see what they have to offer me. Y’know… Keeping things fresh. :b

Till then, please forgive me for any of my shortcomings, in whatever form they may come from. I hope we’re more capable then last year to face stronger challenges.

I wish you and your loved ones a good ramadhan ahead. May goodness always be close to you 🙂

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Ramadhan Mubarak all! 😘

She’s right!: New reciter in the list

So! The other day I was Oovoo-ing with Shafa.. for almost 6 hours *gasppp!!* Imagine when we meet again (soon, In syaa Allah), it’ll definitely be chaotic! 🙂

Anyways, we talked about so many topics and one of them was ‘Who do you listen to to memorise a surah?’ I tend to listen to Sudais (excuse me Aqilah, he’s not your uncle! No wonder my younger brother has this issue.), excuse me, Imam Sudais. I just love his husky and sharp voice. I first knew him a few years back when we had our monthly usrah sesh and Kak Yam mentioned how he recited Al-Haqqah – verse 33-35. It’s as if you can feel the punishment dawning upon yourself –astarghfirullahazim. It’s not in every video so I’ll kindly have the video before this post ends okies?

Then Shafa was telling me the list of Qari she listens to and send me a link of a Salman Al Utaybi (SAU).

Now.

When YouTube puts the title as Beautiful Recitation, I’ll go ‘Masyaa Allah! Beautiful. Ok, Now let’s get back to Imam Sudais’. It’s just … he’s the only one that I can listen to repetitiously. So when Shafa sent me the link to a Qari I’ve nevvaahh heard of, I knew that I would head back to Imam Sudais after watching once.

But ohhhh boyyyy… Was I wrong oh so wrong!

I’ve never heard such a beautiful recitation.

Urgh… Where’s that expression emoticon when you need em..

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Hoyeah, this…

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

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The point is! I was waiting for Maghrib and listening to SAU in my telekung all, cause you know, my telekung is just sooo comfy and after my Maghrib salaah, it was still on repeat but here I am all comfy again in my shirts and shorts and Godddd, I feel so vulgar dressing this way listening to Allah’s words.

I mean, I’m home alone which equates to dress code: Sesuka Hati (As I please), non?

Salman Al Utaybi. Makes you wanna skip Westlife. Seriously… Just try listening!

Imam Sudais – Al-Haqqah. Verse 25 onwards, his recitation tone is as if telling you the exact message Allah’s is trying to convey to us.

*Disclaimer: Now now. I try not to blog so much about this beautiful deen of mine because 1) Islam is perfect. Muslim is not. Ergo, I’m not perfect. 2) I’m not a person of knowledge when it comes to the deen. I’m barely trying His pleasure. 3) I need time to make sure that my nawaitu (intention) is not: Holier than thou, because that is just a wrong motive. Plus I don’t want people to think that I’m pious. 4) I’m afraid if any information is wrong.

But! This is my platform to share anything I want to plus, Prophet Muhammad salallahu’alaihiwassalam said, ‘Convey from me, even if it be only a single verse’. Well, I’m not conveying any message. Just merely a beautiful recitation which I hope you’ll enjoy.

Afterall, we should love one another what we love for ourselves right?

Anything good comes from Him, anything otherwise comes from me.

His Help

Remember this post? I finally have the time to blog now.

Of course I do. 11 hours of sleep. I better not fall asleep at this hour (9.39pm).

It was Tuesday, my first official day back at uni. Monday is Superstudio.

Superstudio = My Studio = My home = My Bed + Lappy

Hehehehe…

Tuesday’s a full day for me and as I was getting ready to go out, I was wondering what shoes should I put on. The weather is so unpredictable and I can’t seem to trust my weather forecast. Yesterday it said that it won’t rain but it was drizzling when I left for uni.

Why is the weather forecast important? It determines what bag and shoes I use.

#FIRSTWORLDPROBLEM

Like I was saying, I was contemplating which shoes to wear. Halfway slipping my right foot on my ballet flats, I got a bad feeling and immediately changed to my boots. I argued with myself for a while. Haha.

Isn’t it tedious to wear the boot.

Why is it tedious?

You need to bend and tuck here and there when putting on and removing.

Pfft. You’re late. Leave now!

Turns out later in the afternoon it started raining and snowing and my GAWD! When I left school, it was FREEEEEZZZIINNNGGGG….

It doesn’t help that I’m always wearing two layer. ONLY. Whatever one layer you wear in Singapore… Yup, that plus another layer of coat. Khalaasssss

Moreover I always forget to bring my glove along with me.

Came home with red cheeks and nose. Definitely not cool.

I always believe that when your third instinct tells you to leave something for something, it’s Him telling you. Afterall, He knows what’s best for you.

Hadn’t I wore my boots, my feet would’ve froze while walking back home. The sole of my flats are super thin that I can feel the ground even during autumn. So! Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Hehe.

For now, my instinct is telling me to get off this chair, wash the kitchen and do the dishes.

But I’m extremely sure I can hold this off for a while more.

Bahahaha.