Ohana Jr

Today is a dear diary day.

5am. My phone beeped and…


Later in the afternoon,


We’ve got  junior amongst us now!

Today, someone’s status has been changed to a mother, alhamdulillah 🙂


Source: Google

Blessed is one who still has a mother as her dua/prayer is accepted by Him.  If you still have a mother, never ever take her for granted.


Taken back in 2012. How time flies! b

Felt like last week you guys were trippin on the ice-rink and now 3 of you are married and 1 is a mother!

Ps: I heard that new moms don’t get enough sleep! So, we should have as many babysitting gathering while you get your sleep.


Gawdd… I wanna.







go and















my way back to SG PRONTO!



So I’m kinda the unofficially official (note taker tak bertauliah) minute taker of Fatayat’s monthy usrah. So…. ere’s October usrah update!

Oh and err… Assalamu’alaikum errone!

The surahs of the Quran gets shorter as pages flip by so this month, we recited and shared 2 surahs: 73:Al-Muzzammil and 74:Al-Muddathir (Al-Muddassir).

::: So, I shall start with Surah Muzzammil. This surah was sent during a war. One night, the enemies wanted to know what their opponent were up to at night. Sharpening their swords?, preparing breakfast? or kiwi-ing their boots? But nah… they were busy worshipping your creator and mine. So they were surprised that their enemy have the energy to spend their resting time worshipping instead of sleeping or spying their side… ooooh those sneaky people.

::: Life….. well, there’s err… choices. The pro’s and con’s. A believer would make choices that is good for themself and whatever that benefits their akhirah (afterlife).


Prayer = talking to Him

Reciting the Quran = Him talking to us.

See how this 2 way conversation work beautifully?

When was the last time we had a girl’s night out with our galpals? Last Friday night? How long was that meetup? Say… 8pm till midnight? 4 hours right? It was awesome wasn’t it?

Now, when was the last time you talked to your Creator for 4 hours straight? I’m not gonna lie and say that I have talked to Him for 4 hours. I mean in ramadhan during witr after tarawih I’m already thinking of the dessert my grandma or maid prepared.

After all those, hello internet and hey God, I Love you but… TTYL.

And in the last 10 days, where people chase for the night of power, sometimes the first few lines I’d say is, ” Dear God, you are the Most Merciful, Most Loving and Most Forgiving… You accept doa/prayer/supplication is accepted in the 2/3 of the night  and more so when one’s forehead is on the ground so please please please pretty please forgive me, my past sins, current sins and future sins. Dear God, you are the Richest of all and Most Loving so please please please make my bonus come fast cause only you know how deep down in my heart I reaaaaalllyyy want those Louboutins.”

See how rude one can get? How can we talk to people for hours with much attention and focus on our friends/family, His creation and can’t even focus for 5 minutes to Our Creator. Ouch…. I feel so… Kongajar.. >.<

::: Another sister also shared that, we, humans, are actually ignorant and so full of ourselves. Sometimes when our spiritual spirit feels high and we go ok, 2 mins, I’ll pick up that Quran in 2 mins… and then…


You see , Allah doesn’t ask much from us. He gives us whatever ease that we have and at the same time, He KNOWS the hardship that we’re having. Our struggles. He wants to help us. That’s why he says, “… that you pass in prayer nearly two-thirds of the night … and Allah measures the night and the day … He knows that you are not able to do it, so he has turned to you (mercifully), therefore read as much of it as is easy (to you), and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate and offer to Allah a goodly gift…” What you got to do is improve yourself slowly. Slowly and steadily. Not so slowly like one surah on the first Monday of your birthday month = One Monday a year. Good move but come’one man! Who are we trippin’?

::: Waking during two-third of the night is actually to strengthen our… jiwa… faith / soul? I think, soul. Now, Just the normal fard (obligatory) prayer has loads of pahala (rewards). Imagine the amount of reward when you liven your night. MasyaAllah isn’t it?

Night prayer or Qiyamulail is when we do special prayer…. tahajjud, hajat and more. Prayer during this time is more rewarding as your “wish” or “Dear God, which decision should I make” situation is more likely to be granted. So! How badly do we want it? If we don’t strive for it, it just goes to show that we don’t really want it. Ouch… That hurt me.

There are nights when He woke me up in the middle of the night… to pee or whatsoever  and I’ll tell myself, Hey! Come’on lets talk to Him! He’s waiting,” and then there’s that cursed devil that whispers, ” Oh come on…. You’re gonna be late for work. You’re gonna be sleepy. You can’t sleep in the office.” Dayumm… Devil 1, Me 0. Bahhh… Humbug.

::: The period in which Prophet salallahualaihiwassalam (peace be upon him) received revelation to revelation is yeaaars. In between those, he kept praying at night for fear that revelation has stopped.


The key word here is not night prayer, which is just wake up, pray, and K.O. I mean, that’s a good start. But the real deal is to liven up your night. Fill it with prayer that you really mean. Recite the Quran like Allah is really talking to you. Feel it.


Now… That was Al-Muzzamil. What I just shared, all those are from the sisters. Many of those, I’ve yet to accomplish them, I’m still, trying. So, read this as if you’re reading notes from your friend. Not a note written by someone accomplished hokkaayyyy…

Anyways, I kinda misplaced that Al-Muddathir notes. Gahh… Can’t fine em. So, I shall call this part 1! When I’ve found it, I’ll call it part 2.

Till Al-Muddathir…

May you always find peace in yourself…. a.k.a May the peace be with you!    *salute motion*

Tuesday Sharing: Afraid to Read

I have a draft from Ramadhan’s Usrah which is not posted. I know, I know, lazy alert! Lazy alert! My baaaaad. But, there’s a sharing from that Usrah that I can use here!

Someone (This someone is not me) shared to the group of us about Quran, ” Orang yang membaca Al-Quran, ayat-ayat yang kita selalu baca, di kubur, dia akan menemani kita. Oleh itu, jagalah hubungan kita dengan Al-Quran. Pada Hari Qiyamat, Allah memanggil ibu bapa kita dengan memakai mahkota kerana kita (anaknya) menjaga hubungan kita dengan Al-Quran. Orang yang menjaga hubungannya dengan Al-Quran saat-saat kita meninggal akan menjadi saat-saat manis untuk kita. Kerana Al-Quran itu akan datang dan membantu mereka.”

Also, err… I can’t remember the exact word but it goes along this line, “Rugilah orang yang tidak mendekatkan diri mereka dengan Al-Quran kerana ia mempunyai syafaat.” Then, there’s, ” Apabila kita sudah meninggal, putus lah nikmat dunia dan Al-Quran dan amalan lah peneman kita. Bayangkan pada Hari Qiyamat kita diberi buku kita dengan tangan kiri. Rugi sangat-sangat. Kenapa? Sebab masa kita di Dunia ini tidak digunakkan sebaik-baiknya. At this point, there is no turning back. On the flip side, kalau kita menerima buku amalan kita dengan tangan kanan, kitalah manusia yang sangat *i forgot the word* ah yes, bertuah. Orang yang terima buku amalan mereka dengan tangan kiri rugi sangat-sangat kerana pertama, mereka tidak dapat jumpa Allah. Don’t you want to meet Allah? Don’t you want to meet Our perfect Creator? Dan sudah tentunya orang yang menerima buku amalannya dengan tangan kiri tahu balasan yang menunggu mereka.” “Kalau kita adalah seorang anak yang sangat dekat dengan Quran, ibu bapa kita juga dapat memasuki syurga melalui kita, isn’t that a good deed?”

*pause* I actually forgot what I wanted to write. Yes, this is not what I wanted to write. At this point then I remembered! GAGALS. So, Since the cup is half full, I shall just continue and keep my supposedly this week share of sharing next week! Haha *ok, go*

I think last time (or sometimes now), I was kinda afraid of the Quran cause of the truth it holds. You know that there are some parts of your lifestyle which is unacceptable and stated in the Quran and you know that if you don’t reaaaaally know, Allah will forgive you because of your ignorance. But hey! One has got to be realistic right? So alhamdulillah, I started knowing (know ok, not really understand. I am faarr away from that) the meaning behind the verses bit by bit (thanks to usrahs and quotes from tumblr). I can never do it on my own man. Too many distractions!

So here’s a part of Afraid to Read lyrics :

(You can play the video below. But just to anyone who is a no-no to music, here’s the snippet of it. It only has tabla? Haha, kinda like drum beat. That’s a general term that Malay’s use >.< For those who are not, listen! It’s really meaningful).

I sent an email to my loved one, just the other day

It’s sad communication has evolved this way.

We use so many words but have so little to relate

Angels scribble down every letter that we say.

All the viral attachments sent and passionate insults we vent

It’s easy to be arrogant behind user passwords we invent.

But on the day the scrolls are laid, with every word and deed displayed,

When we read our accounts, I know, for one, I’ll be afraid.

That day I’ll be so afraid to read,

Every harsh word that I’ve spoken – and every time I have lied.

I’ll be obliged to admit,I’ll be obliged to submit

Will I have strength owning up to each deed I’ve tried to hide?

Oh Allah, I’m so afraid to read.

Oh yeaaahhh, Assalamu’alaikum guys 😀

Sharing: Ukhuwwah Fillah

Assalamualaikum all.

May you read this in the best of your health and iman.

Heads up: Read this with an open mind as it’s not purely on Islamic teaching, e.g, hadith as it’s my story aaaand, I’m not the perfect model muslimah.

I’ve been missing lately as there’s been so many changes in my life lately. Drafts and drafts were saved but, well, I don’t want to make a fool of myself. Haha. >.<

So, when there’s opportunity (more of reason) for me to post something, it has to be here (otherwise, newspaper!) Heh.

What I would like to share today is a basic topic: Ukhuwwah Fillah.

Honestly, I was a part-time ‘hijab-I’. Every weekend to family gathering is the only time I wear it. Family outing too. But not sincerely and definitely unwilling.

Sometime’s when I’m alone, I started thinking, when would be the day that I put in on, sincerely for the one that created me and you. 20? It seems like a long way (who am I kidding right? Hahaha). When I’ve finish poly? I mean, wouldn’t it be weird to suddenly don the scarf in front of friends after showing my hair and some skin (oh gosh >.<) for the past two years? Start of Uni? But Archi school is really cool to have that messy hair, messy bun look. What if I study overseas? Lose the opportunity to dress up man! Start working? Sounds ok…. But, hmmm… When I get married? (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wishful thinking there.) I was basically waiting for the right time or hidayah from God. I’m going, whatever at myself now. How rude was I to myself!

I fall out of friendship with a classmate of mine for almost a year. One day, she started coming to school, covered up with headscarf instead of her usual tank top and shorts. It’s as if a story from a book  coming alive. I believe that Allah can really turns someone’s heart. But I didn’t know that it was that fast.

Anyway, that’s not one of the reason why I started covering myself. Like I said, I started thinking, when?

I think… a few months after this in-my-head-solo-monologue session, while I was at the MRT Station, scrolling my twitter timeline, waiting to go to Pizza Hut after IT Sale, a tweet said (somewhere along the line of), RIP. You’ll be dearly missed. I was shocked and in disbelieve. Must be someone with a different name. So I went around asking if it was who I really thought it was. It is.

I started reflecting. Deeply. Seriously. My friend. A very dear friend of mine, healthy as a horse/jock, just collapse and died in the middle of the soccer field. He was 20. I started thinking, that could be me. I could be walking home and just collapse and die while waiting for the traffic light to turn red. It.could.be.me.

That coupled with other few things made me put the scarf on my head on 08th June 2012. I felt new, wanted to say reincarnated but, it’s rhetorical.

One of the main reasons why I did not want to put on the scarf initially was because I see so many people around me, strangers or not, not doing it the right way. I mean, really? Leggings with headscarf? 5 inch thick make up? I put 5 inch on my heel, not face. I think back in 2011, showing the band of your underwear was cool and we’d see, ‘Calvin Klein’ popping out of someone’s back along with that butt crack line that just make me want to 1. Pull the underwear up or 2. Swipe my card on it or 3. Put 10 cents coin in it. Really guys, it looks like the hole on my piggy bank. I digress. But I saw a hijabi with the underwear band out with a butt crack and got very disgusted. I told myself, do not ever embarrass those who are trying to be proper, that way.

While researching on how to keep myself correct when I’ll start putting the headscarf, I patch up my friendship back with my classmate. Ah…. I love final year. Really. Mending relationships or rather friendships that was broken was a major part in that year was just the icing on top of the cake.*slurrrppp*

Anyway, I started exchanging stories, knowledge and experience with this classmate of mine. We started going for events and one thing led to another, we decided to go for usrah. I wasn’t sure what is or how it works. Heck, I don’t even know if people like me can participate. I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I can be weird like an alien. So alien and people, they’re not really on the same frequency y’know. Once again, I digress. I only know to the term Usrah in one of the book that I read, Maybe hlovate. I don’t know. I have quite a goldfish memory. So, to me, experiencing something or an event that a character in a book experience was like…er, I felt like I was the character in the book la, ok. Haha.

The rest is history.

I became friends with the ladies there. They’re like God sent sisters. In Islam, everyone is brother or sister in faith, if not blood related. They (my sisters), are really MaSyaAllah. You know, there’s this saying that goes, ‘when you’re in Allah’s path, you’ll lose some people. But the people that Allah replaces them with, is far better,’ I agree. There’s also a saying which says, surround yourself with people who remind you of Allah. These ladies are. Every single one of them.

These sisters always make me look up to them. They’re my role model. Honestly. I can never be as good as them. From circular to Islamic studies, they ace it like MaSyaAllah. Their knowledge, prayer and whatever …. (I’m out of words here guys), they’re not even stingy of it. They help you as best as they could. They always have the time for you.

When you’re lazy to pray, you can’t help but still go for prayers, because your sisters are waiting for you. When you feel like not reading the Qur’an, you can’t help but to read because your sisters can’t complete it because they’re waiting for you. (Ok, I’m being dramatic here. They can. But, they’re very nice like thaaaat). When you don’t feel like going for talks, you can’t help but to drag yourself (which you’ll eventually thank yourself, by the way) because you know, these sisters are waiting for you to be by their side to walk together. They don’t leave anyone behind. They’re my Ohana.

Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind.

Good friends who prioritize their relationship with Allah will help us on the spiritual path. It is easier to pray and to do our everyday acts of worship because we have company to help us. Even when we face difficulties, these friends will support us; ultimately they will remind us of Allah during these tests and help us to rely on Him. No one is perfect, and this is why it is important to be around people who want to improve themselves, and in the process will help you to improve yourself too. Ibn Hazm stated: “Anyone who cares about your friendship is willing to criticize you, while those who make light of your faults show they do not care.” Allah (swt) reminds us of this in the Qur’an, when He says:


“And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” (Qur’an, 18:28)

Source: here

Usrah is not about me, my knowledge, I pass it to you. Usrah is we need you. We can never  do this alone.  Bersatu kita teguh, bercerai kita roboh. Together we unite, Divided we fall.

During the period where I was waiting for the right moment to don the headscarf, I felt very queasy. It’s just an unsettling feeling. Later on I found out that it was because I was away from my fitrah. I was away from my natural predisposition. Humans, are created to worship Allah. By following his commandments, we are at ease because we are working in the way we were created to. A robot will go bonkers if we operate them not according to the manual.

I think most of us know this but I just wanna share:

Being alone is better than being in bad company, and being in good company is better than being alone; being silent is better than speaking of evil, and speaking of good is better than being silent.

When I fell out of my fitrah, it’s as if I lost my heaven’s key.

I’m about to burst your bubble here. Whatever you read above, is just an introduction. What I really  wanted to say, I cannot put it in words like what I’ve did above because, oh god, it would be so wrong! I might say very stoopid stuff. So! With the introduction above and (hopefully) in chronological order, this is what I want to share…



I guess, it’s true that Allah puts us where we are today. When you place Him first, he’ll help you plan your life.

Ustazah Maryam always remind us, “doing something good or anything in His way is never easy. Thank Him for putting your name in doing something good.”

Alhamdulillah 🙂




Really how we are, just goofy and stuff. :*


Where we come from doesn’t matter.


‘Ahhhh….this girl. Always give me headache. Stahhp right there.’ Haha.

My dear Shafa, if we have not unfriend each other, we might never change towards his course and I thank Him and His magical divine ways for everything that has happened. Same goes for all my Fatayat Sisters and those whom I’ve crossed path with.

Sometimes, we’re scared to change. Sometimes we’re scared of those who are around us. I would say that putting and committing yourself to the headscarf is a very big step. Its an exhilarating experience, I promise you. There’s this calmness amidst the hectic-ness and tranquillity that you’ve never felt before. It’s like bungee jumping. You gotta give it a go. I assure you. You’ll never want to turn back. To my Fatayat Sisters. You know who you are, I pray that He will always guide you like how He has guided the believers, keep you safe like how he has kept the believers safe, grant you strong shoulder to carry on with his tests like how He has granted upon those believers before us, protect you and grant you the highest of Jannah like how He has, towards the believers before us as He is the most Merciful, Forgiving and of course, Loving.


My very first usrah – Miss 21st Century.

Wallahi, love you guys.

God bless.

Any good comes from Him. Any bad comes from me.

Al-Fatiha – Khairil Othman.

Usrah: I want to change but…


My shoulder feels lighter after the last post. Such a big reminder to forgetful me.

Last usrah on the 20th April 2013 turned out to be a big event that was beyond us, regulars, imagination. Alhamdulillah…Normally we have 20 people max. But 70 participants was beyond amazeballs.

As I entered the hall, I was shocked and scared to be honest. The chairs were arranged in such that I thought that it was gonna be conducted in a seminar/talk manner. I got intimidated. Haha… Easily huh. So many unfamiliar faces.

Instead of our usual circle of tadabbur and tadarrus (recite some surahs and the translation from the Quran), only 2 were doing it, with a mic. One reads it in arabic, one reads the translation. The feel wasn’t there as I personally think nothing beats reading together. But, one simply must have a first time for everything right? Heh…

After that we watched a video of a group of us before our change and after. Some of us actually teared cause the journey that we went through was a special one and the people that He put on our way to help us along is so amazeballs. It’s true that if Allah takes anything away from you, it’s only because he wants to give you something better. Whether you see it or not, is the other side of the coin.

Then we broke into smaller circle to share our stories more. Since this event had age limit, the age range that was set was perfect as most of us was able to relate to one another easily. Some if not many teared, listening to other sister’s story. Their struggles.

Listening to them made me realise that my problems, what I went through is nothing. It made me realise how small my problems are. The problems we heard made us realise what about the unheard stories? Those who need help. Surely Allah’s help is near so don’t be despair. We are where we are today because of His will. Indeed Allah sent them to me as a reminder that this ungrateful me should be very thankful.

To my group members, I’m terrible with names and less imbecile with faces, may you guys keep striving in this deen and know that you guys are not alone. Why He wrote your name along us at MKS was so that you guys know there’s that someone and somewhere you can count on.

If we ever bumped and I look like a snobby mangkuk, trust me I’m not angry. My straight face just give people “She’s angry,” look. Just call out to  me cause I’d love to meet y’all again!

The fun part!

IMG-20130420-WA0013Seriously… Since when our gathering went formal?

IMG-20130420-WA0008It’s good to see you woman!!! Shaf(A)qilah back in the house :bb

IMG-20130420-WA0010Don’t ask. Hahaha… Not bad ah the colour combination.. *I hear fashion police siren wailing*

IMG-20130420-WA0009The minute I took her she started crying. I suck with kids. I figure that kids want to play with something new. Well… this is something new. “Don’t cry Auni, come, let’s play with fire extinguisher,” she stops crying. *Standing ovation anyone?*  Hahaha… See, I’m not totally useless. I can be use as a bad example. Not thaaaat proud of it. Hahahaha.

IMG-20130420-WA0005Some (less than 5) already went off *cough*Nureen*cough* Just imagine the empty spots left on the left and right are another 5 soul. Ramainya MasyaAllah kannnn!!!

I miss em peeps already.. Gahhh…

Emosi benar.