Monday

Monday.

All Monday’s are crappy. Today just took it to a whole new level.

I needed someone to talk to. I was scared to tell anyone anything cause I was afraid it’s backbiting. I mean, the first thing we have to do is always, always, turn to Him. But we’re human for a reason. We’re human because we understand each other, we can relate to one another.

Don’t tell me you’ve never heard a song and went, Gaaaawwwdddd…. How can another person you don’t know, knows exactly, how you feel. That lyrics ain’t tellin’ no lie.

And humans need someone to talk to.

I needed someone who is not biased. Someone who’ll tell me it’s not okay when it’s not and don’t sugarcoat their word and definitely someone in approximate same timezone as me.

1:13:44 later with Shafa, life’s good again.

It’s amazing how talking to someone does wonder.

Now, I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m not the most wonderful, nice, pious (and etc) person in the world. I can see that myself.

Know the ugly side of you so people won’t use it against you. When you’re biased to yourself, get a good/honest friend.

Life’s not kind, people mistreat others. Based on this, I try my very best to make sure I’m not a problem in a person’s life. If I took your lollipop, drop me an email, I’ll gladly replace you a dozen. If I hurt your feelings and you can’t wait for Eid for me to ask for apology, whatsapp me and tell me what your deal is and I’ll gladly apologise if I made a mistake. If I believe that I didn’t do any wrong, I’ll give my precious time to you and explain myself. If you can’t take my explanation then we can go along the line of lakum deenukum wa liyadin (for you is your religion and for me is my religion) – read: we’ll go our own way, respecting each other still.

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Private conversation is private but one thing I always, always, love talking with Shafa is, she always shares with me something she’s learned or remind me of the goodness in being good.

Today, she shared/reminded me that everyone is equal despite being different.

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(My Photoshop’s not working. Excuse the quality).

Since I’m not exactly a good example, I’ll volunteer  to be the bad example. 😈

Everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason why my intelligence is where it is, not any higher or lower. Should it be higher, I might boast it and forget to acknowledge the fact that everything I know is what He allows me to know. I might believe that I’m superior due to my knowledge. There is a reason why my leg is shaped the way it’s shaped (Based on a true story. Why do you think I stick to my black pants?!). Should it be shaped the way I like to be, I would be wearing that nice ripped jeans, something that doesn’t pleases Him. Heck, I might not even don the hijab. Too busy dressing up pleasing the world and moulding myself to be part of the society. I’m past that now. (I’ll be whoever I wanna be = I’ll be me.) There’s a reason why my skin had a bad breakout after having flawless skin all my life. After much reflection, I believe that I started to be proud (riya’) of it and He decided to take that blessing away. Remind me that all goodness comes from Him and if I can’t be grateful for that, I deserve having it taken away from me. *No complaints*.

Despite all my bad self, there has to be at least two (if not one) good qualities in me. Whatever they may be.

Me:

70% : 30% = 100%

😈 + 👼 = 100%

You:

30% : 70% = 100%

😈 + 👼 = 100%

The lesson is, despite the difference in our goodness/evilness, we are still a whole, an equal. Which means, we are never superior than others. No matter how much better you (think you) are.

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From friends to arch enemy (no kidding. We were pretty messed up 😝) back to friends, this time Lillahi Ta’ala, I lubb chu.

Thank you for sparing me your chill-on-bed time, waiting for me to finish my dessert despite me needing your help and sleeping past your bedtime for me.

Never felt better talking to you. Gawd I’m so mushy.

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